Chapter 6: Fortune and Misfortune: Strands of a Twisted Rope
The day was steadily coming to an end, and before I knew it, it was already after-school time. It had been five days since the exam was announced, yet, nothing of significance had happened.
From what I could gather, every class maintained a record of no tardiness or absences. Students were quieter than usual, living their school lives with a seriousness that almost felt unnatural.
Even over the weekend, normally a time when tempers flared and discipline waned, passed without a single whisper of trouble. Everyone seemed to have kept a firm grip on their sense of tension.
Judging from how everyone was diligently studying and exercising, avoiding tardiness and absences, and maintaining strict order and politeness, it was clear that all four classes understood their daily conduct could be the key to the exam.
Even Ryuen’s class, who didn’t seem to have it all figured out on the first day, had quickly adjusted. Kondo and the others had moved carefully, probing while also factoring in lifestyle behavior from the very start.
I didn’t know which of them had suggested it, but in that class, the leader’s word was law. If it was put into practice, then Ryuen himself had at least understood the necessity.
Pssht! Pssht, pssht!
Just as I was about to rise from my seat, the back of my neck flared with sharp little stings.
“Ngh.. hey that hurts! What even…?”
Turning around at the unfamiliar sting, I found the culprit: Morishita, standing there holding what appeared to be… a gun made out of disposable chopsticks.
“So you’re still alive, huh. Not bad,” she said.
“‘Not bad’ isn’t the point here… What is that thing?”
“A gun. Obviously.”
Pssht!
Before I could react, a rubber band snapped into my palm. The makeshift weapon, I realized, was a crude but surprisingly functional contraption. Several rubber bands looped around and secured to a chopstick frame, with a little mechanism fashioned into something like a trigger. Pull it, and the band flew. Simple and Effective. And, as my stinging hand could attest, moderately painful.
“That hurts, you know?” I said, rubbing the spot.
“That's because I'm shooting with the intention of hurting you.” Morishita replied without a shred of remorse.
“And, why do I have to be the one getting hurt in the first place…?”
Still, I had to admit it was well-made… It wasn't just randomly assembled into the shape of a gun; it was designed to specifically shoot rubber bands.
“When did you even put that together?” I asked.
“It's a secret weapon I diligently crafted during break time. It's a wonderful lethal weapon that can even slip past the metal detector gates.”
At least she hadn’t been working on it in the middle of a class.
“Let's take a drive to the ends of hell together. Bang!”
“I absolutely don't want to do that.”
While we were having this pointless exchange, Satonaka approached, looking a bit hesitant.
“Got a moment?”
“Yeah. What’s up?” I replied,
While surprised to be spoken to by someone I rarely interact with, a part of me thought it would be funny if Morishita shot a rubber band at Satonaka.
But when I glanced over, she had already placed the rubber band gun on her desk and was staring out the window, boredom etched across her face.
Apparently, I was the only one she intended to take on a hell-bound joyride.
“This Sunday,” Satonaka began, “I was wondering if you’d like to hang out with our group.”
He turned as he spoke, and behind him a small group of 2 boys and a girl waved toward me— Yanagibashi, Tsukasaki, and Hoashi. I’d barely exchanged more than a few words with any of them before.
“No pressure,” he added, ”but what do you think?”
“I don’t have any plans. If you all don’t mind, I’ll tag along.”
When I gave my answer, Satonaka’s lips curved into a warm, satisfied smile.
Maybe the reason I felt strangely glad just from seeing that was because he had such a strikingly well-proportioned, handsome face that even a man couldn’t help but be charmed.
“If you’d like, Morishita-san, you should come too,” he offered.
“I’ll pass,” she replied curtly.
Without even so much as a glance at him, she fixed her gaze firmly on the scenery outside the window as she gave her blunt refusal.
Satonaka, seemingly unfazed, said he’d send the details later by message and returned to the group.
“Why’d you turn him down?”
“No particular reason. I’m just not interested,”
Within the time it took for that one sentence, she had shifted her gaze from the window to me, her right hand now firmly gripping the rubber band gun again.
“Could it be, Morishita, that you… about Satonaka…?”
Pssht!
A sting bloomed across my left cheek as a rubber band struck me mercilessly.
“Too bad, Ayanokoji Kiyotaka. Did you think you'd get to see me all blushing and flustered here?”
“I thought so for a second, but it seems that's not the case… Besides, that hurts, and it's dangerous.” I muttered, rubbing my cheek.
“I simply have no interest in him. Besides, overly androgynous faces aren’t my type. Even a face as hideously distorted as yours, Ayanokoji Kiyotaka, is better— at least I can offer it some pity. Are you happy to know that I like you?”
“Pretty sure the sadness outweighed the happiness by a long shot,” I replied. “Sorry, but I’m heading out.”
“Running away?” she teased, punctuating her words with a volley of rubber bands. I ducked and hurried for the hallway, escaping her rapid fire.
Once I'd escaped, I pulled out my phone and read over Ichinose’s message again.
「It seems Hoshinomiya-sensei wants to meet you, Ayanokoji-kun.」
Having received that message, I made my way toward the special building she had specified.
The sun had barely dipped below the horizon. At this hour, the special building was almost always deserted.
Two years ago, this very place had been the stage for an incident— Sudo had been ensnared by Ryuen’s trap, ambushed in a blind spot of the surveillance cameras. Ever since, even more cameras have been installed in this wing.
These days, almost every inch of the campus was under watchful eyes, save for private spaces like locker rooms and restrooms.
Some students found the constant observation suffocating, but for most, it was a welcome safety net, a silent shield against trouble that could otherwise run wild.
When I reached the designated meeting point, Hoshinomiya-sensei was nowhere to be seen. With nothing else to do, I turned to the window and let my gaze wander over the school grounds, killing time. I didn’t plan to linger here too long— since I’m planning to meet Hiyori later.
Outside, I could see students trickling toward the gates, while others headed for their clubrooms, chatting in small groups.
“—Club activities, huh.” I murmured to myself.
In the end, I never joined one. But if I were to start over as a first-year, maybe I’d give it a try. My mindset had changed enough that the idea didn’t feel entirely foreign anymore.
To the point where if asked, "Are you satisfied as a student?", I could nod my head, albeit with some hesitation.
I tore my gaze away from the window and glanced down the corridor. Moments later, the sound of brisk, high-heeled footsteps echoed through the hall. A familiar figure came into view, our eyes meeting before she waved lightly and approached with an easy smile.
“Sorry to keep you waiting, Ayanokoji-kun. Calling me out to a place like this, did you need something?”
“You're the one who called me here, Sensei.”
She tilted her head, a playful lilt in her voice. “What are you talking about? There’s no way a teacher would call a student to a spot like this. I heard from Ichinose-san that you wanted to see me Ayanokoji-kun, so I came.”
I’m in the same boat, but questioning her further seemed pointless.
Hoshinomiya-sensei’s eyes were unmistakably smiling.
While I was still trying to figure out what she was truly after, she stepped closer, far closer, until her body pressed lightly against mine.
“What do you think you're doing?”
“‘What do I think?’ What are you talking about?”
Her voice dropped to a near-whisper as she leaned in closer of her own accord, ignoring my question entirely and feigning innocence.
Before I could react, she wrapped her slender arm around mine.
“Ayanokoji-kun, you’re going to have to work hard for the next year,” she said with a sly smile. “So I think it’s only fair I give you a little service… like this.”
To brazenly call this kind of behavior a “service” was just like her, but for a teacher, it was an act entirely out of bounds.
Still, I had no intention of lecturing her here, nor of forcibly shaking off her arm. What mattered most was that I didn’t make the first move.
“You’re as shrewd as ever, Hoshinomiya-sensei.”
I said instead, choosing words over action to halt her momentum.
“Eh? What do you mean, ‘shrewd’?”
“I had a suspicion about the nature of this exam,” I continued, “but your little stunt confirmed it. For the week, the school will judge us on our ‘attitude during daily school life’— tardiness, absences, overall conduct. Normally, these things only cause minor monthly fluctuations, but now they’ll weigh heavily in our evaluations. With the countless surveillance cameras in the halls, the faculty can easily review footage to evaluate us. And if they see me in close contact with a teacher of the opposite sex, it’ll inevitably hurt my assessment.”
Not long ago, she’d been ready to use her authority to push her class to victory by any means necessary, nearly to the point of recklessness.
To prevent that, I had told her about my alliance with Ichinose and the terms that came with it, which was enough to keep her somewhat restrained.
But deep down, her true desire still remained unchanged: a swift return to the upper class ranks and the downfall of Chabashira-sensei’s class.
She gave a small laugh. “Ayanokoji-kun, you’re reading too much into this. We’re a team, aren’t we? Why would I ever do something to drag you down? Besides, we don’t even know if your guess about the exam is correct.”
“Of course, I have no definitive proof,” I admitted evenly. “It’s just my impression. But don’t worry, even if you did intentionally try to lower my evaluation, it wouldn’t affect our alliance.”
My words were calm, almost bureaucratic in tone. And as I spoke, her smile deepened, as though she understood exactly what I meant.
“That’s good to hear. So, you’re fine with letting my class take the win this time, right? Just giving a little glory to a class that’s barely a point behind?”
“If we could fully control the outcome, then perhaps. But this is a four-way contest. If our class suffers a negative evaluation, we could end up dead last. There’s no guarantee Ichinose’s class will claim first place.”
“Oh, come on. Isn’t this where your talents should shine, Ayanokoji-kun? You just have to make my class number one, and put your own in second. Easy.”
“Unfortunately,” I said flatly, “I have no intention of interfering or adjusting the results.”
“…Why not? You’re just going to ignore the risk of Class A or Class B winning?”
“This time, even that would be acceptable.”
Her eyes narrowed. “What, are you saying fifty class points isn’t worth picking up? That’s—”
“That’s not it,” I cut in. “I simply judge this situation unworthy of bringing out the true value of our alliance. Perhaps you should start by believing in your own class.”
For two years now, Ichinose’s class had been a model of discipline, on par with, or even more so than Sakayanagi’s.
However, Hoshinomiya-sensei couldn’t seem to stomach the reality of being in Class D. She was always scheming, always looking for ways to forcibly shift the balance, regardless of the cost.
I could understand if it came from sheer frustration, but in a case like this, that approach threatened to smother her class’s greatest strength.
“Please learn to watch over them as well. It's something even Chabashira-sensei can do.”
“—!”
The moment I mentioned her long-time rival’s name, her demeanor shifted.
She stopped in her tracks, slipping her arm away from mine.
“I can trust you… right?” she asked quietly.
The meaning behind those words was simple. It contained a threat: if I betrayed her, she would go on a rampage at any time.
“Look at our alliance in the long term, not just the short, that’s all I can tell you right now.”
“I see… Well, at the very least, you did pull through for us in the previous special exam. So, for now… I’ll just keep an eye on things.”
Her cautious nature was still firmly in place. It's a good thing that Hoshinomiya-sensei remains vigilant and hasn't let her guard down.
Even so, there was no real need to push ourselves into a forced victory. If the evaluation truly came down to things like daily conduct and attitude, then meddling too much would be both troublesome and risky.
For classes like mine or Ichinose’s, where disruptive behavior was already rare, devising needless strategies would only make things more dangerous. The safest and most effective strategy was to let everyone carry on as they always had.
Part 1
Only about thirty minutes had passed since the final bell rang. I found myself at the library at a relatively early hour.
There had been some twists and turns, but it was finally the time.
The start of a new exam during Golden Week, repeated after-school invitations, and chance encounters. A considerable amount of time had passed since Ishizaki told me to meet with Hiyori.
The moment I stepped into the library, a familiar scent greeted me, a gentle, papery aroma unique to this place
I wonder if Hiyori is already here.
The school’s library was vast, its towering shelves and wide aisles making it just as tricky to find a person as it was to locate a specific book.
When I happened to glance at the librarian at the entrance, she gave me a warm smile and then silently lifted her finger.
The direction she pointed was where the mystery novels were tightly lined.
It seemed the person I had been looking for was there.
I walked slowly in that direction, still a good distance away, when she appeared, stepping into view from behind a tall shelf. For a brief, delicate moment, in the near-empty library, our eyes met.
But the moment was gone in an instant. She turned away without a word, vanishing into the shadowed depths between shelves.
I felt our eyes met… but did she not notice me?
Calling out from here would feel like an intrusion upon the silence, so I quietly made my way toward where she had vanished. Yet when I reached the spot, she was nowhere to be seen.
And so, I began to search the narrow gaps between the shelves, my footsteps swallowed by the stillness of the library.
One, two, three….
Where could she be? Surely she couldn’t have wandered that far.
And then, there she was. At the far end of the shelf opposite mine, Hiyori’s figure appeared in my line of sight.
Our eyes met. I was certain of it.
But almost immediately, her gaze darted away, and she slipped behind another bookshelf.
No doubt about it, she’d seen me. Which could only mean one thing…
Was she avoiding me?
Is it because I’d taken so long to come see her? Or because I didn’t transfer to Ryuen’s class?
Those thoughts spun in my head as I began to close the distance between us.
If she intended to keep running from me in this library, I would have no choice but to give up.
After all, I can’t force someone into a corner if they don’t want to see me.
Hoping it wouldn’t come to that, I walked to the last place I’d seen her. But she was gone again.
Where did she go from here...?
Then, almost as if she had been wondering where I had gone, Hiyori popped her head out from behind a nearby shelf.
She was less than two meters away, close enough that, with a single step forward and an outstretched hand, I could reach her.
“Hiyo—” I began, but before I could finish, she ducked out of sight again.
Although this time she didn’t move away; I could still see her hand resting against the bookshelf, and the faint outline of her uniform peeking from behind it.
“…Was I bothering you?” I asked quietly.
There was a moment of silence. Then, slowly, her face emerged again.
“Did you… come here to look for a book you wanted to read?” she asked softly.
For now, at least I got a reply. That alone was enough to make me feel relieved.
“No, I came here today to see you, Hiyori.”
“..…”
The meaning of my words should have reached her without question, yet she remained half-hidden behind the tall bookshelf.
I remembered what Ishizaki had told me not long ago:
“Make sure you go see Shiina sometime soon. She’s been pretty down, maybe not as bad as me, but still.”
And then, there was that awkward encounter when we’d ended up in the same elevator a few days ago.
Why hadn’t I come to see her sooner?
I could tell myself I’d been busy, that there were reasons… but the truth was simpler: I’d been avoiding her, running from the guilt of my class transfer. And now, I regretted it.
“Are you still bothered,” I asked carefully, “by the fact that I turned down your invitation to join your class… and transferred to Class C instead?”
Before we could have a proper conversation, the unnecessary wall between us needed to come down. That’s why I decided to confront the matter head-on.
Hiyori’s composure cracked almost instantly. Her eyes, which had been trying to meet mine, slid away, and her lips pressed together firmly.
“I… can’t say it doesn’t bother me. I kept wondering if, by inviting you, I ended up pushing you away, Ayanokoji-kun…”
“That's very unlike you. You should know something like that is impossible, right?”
The Hiyori I knew was always unhurried, unshaken, someone with a steady heart and a clear gaze that saw through the noise.
I had assumed she would understand without me saying a word that my move from Class A to Class C had its own purpose, one I could only achieve there.
Just because I had received a transfer invitation, there was no way I would ever distance myself from her.
But still, the fact remained: I had taken far too long to see her.
“I want to apologize. For not accepting the transfer to Class B, and for taking so long to tell you the reason. That delay only caused misunderstandings.”
Hiyori listened in the silence, taking in my words before shaking her head.
“No… Ayanokoji-kun, you’ve done nothing wrong,” she said, shaking her head. “The whole matter of the class transfer… that was just me having selfish expectations, that’s all. And even though I thought… maybe the reason you hadn’t come to see me was because of something on my end… I still couldn’t bring myself to go see you. Please… let me apologize for that.”
As those words left her lips, the part of her body still hidden behind the bookshelf slowly emerged.
Then, with deliberate slowness, she lowered her head, deeper and deeper, until it seemed she could bow no further.
Even though Hiyori had nothing to apologize for.
That said, continuing a back-and-forth of apologies here wouldn’t lead to anything productive.
“I thought…” she began, her voice trembling faintly, “I thought I had already prepared myself for this…”
“Prepared yourself?”
“That you and I are in different classes now,” she continued, her gaze dropping to the floor. “That maybe… we shouldn’t be talking so casually anymore. That I should end this part of our relationship. But now… speaking to you like this… I can’t…” Her voice trailed off, swallowed by hesitation.
So that was it, she’d been trying to sever our friendship, to steel herself into viewing me as nothing more than an opponent.
Hearing that, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. I’d come in time.
“If you don’t mind, Hiyori,” I said, meeting her gaze, “why don’t we talk about the past month we’ve been apart? I’ve got plenty of time today.”
“…Is that really okay?”
“Of course,” I answered without hesitation. “I came here today to see you, and to talk with you, Hiyori.”
When I conveyed my honest feelings, for the first time that day, I saw a gentle smile blooming across her face.
Part 2
We found an empty table in the quiet library and sat across from each other. The chairs gave a soft scrape against the polished floor as we settled in.
For a moment, neither of us said much, as if measuring the space between us. Then, slowly, we began to speak, little threads of conversation weaving across the table, trying to stitch shut the one-month gap that had opened between us.
At first, Hiyori’s voice still carried a trace of formality, her words careful and measured. But gradually, her tone softened, smoothing out into the gentle, unhurried cadence I’d grown accustomed to.
“So… even as a third-year, you’re still the same bookworm as ever?”
“Yes,” she replied with a faint smile. “In fact, just last night, I finished another book.”
She glanced toward the shelves lined with mystery novels, adding that she had just returned it earlier.
“Oh, and actually, I've made one more book buddy.”
Her eyes narrowed in delight as she pressed her palms together.
“Ever since we became third-years, Kaneda-kun has started visiting me often around this time.”
“Kaneda, huh? He does seem like someone who reads a lot, so I can’t say I’m too surprised…”
Still, I had never once seen Kaneda in the library before the end of our second year.
Then again, if he's considering going to university, the library is the perfect environment for studying.
“And there he is.”
Hiyori, who was facing the entrance, noticed Kaneda's arrival, and waved her hand.
I turned, and sure enough, he was standing there, looking faintly surprised to see me.
I raised my hand in a casual greeting, and after a moment’s pause, he walked over.
“…Greetings, Shiina-shi, seems I’ve found myself here again today.”
A slight smile tugging at his lips. In his hands was the proof of my earlier guess, a library book paired with what looked like a dense academic text.
“You really do love books, don’t you, Kaneda-kun?” Hiyori remarked warmly.
It was clear from her words that he had been visiting often. I caught his gaze and gestured with my eyes toward the seat beside me; he nodded politely before taking it.
“Well, yes. I’ve heard you used to come here often too, Ayanokoji-shi. But lately, it seems you haven’t been showing your face.”
For the past month, exactly since Kaneda began coming to the library, I hadn’t been showing up.
“It seems we've been trading places. I think we'll have more chances to meet from now on.”
“...I see. As a fellow reading enthusiast, that is nothing but delightful.”
The words were polite enough, but his expression didn’t seem particularly joyful. It was a perfunctory welcome, nothing more. Naturally, whether I was here or not made little difference to him.
The only person who would truly rejoice the addition of a new book buddy was the one sitting before me, Hiyori.
“In any case,” Kaneda continued, “you seem to have been busy. Your transfer from Class A to Class C… I must admit, I was a little— no, quite, surprised….. hm?”
His words stopped mid-flow as a shadow fell over our table. I turned to find the librarian standing there.
“Sorry to interrupt your conversation, you three,” she said. “Shiina-san, I know it’s sudden, but could you help me with something? It shouldn’t take long.”
“If you’re fine with me, of course,” Hiyori replied with her usual warmth. She glanced at us. “Please wait just a little, okay? I’ll recommend some books later.”
With that, she left with the librarian, her footsteps quiet against the carpet.
That left only the two of us, Kaneda and me, two people who weren’t particularly close. The sudden absence of our mutual acquaintance left the air thick with a faint awkwardness. It’s a feeling I’ve learned to recognize throughout the time I’ve spent in this school.
I decided I’d take the initiative. “Kaneda, what kind of books do you usually read?”
His response was sharp and immediate. “I’m not very good at that sort of meaningless small talk.”
The ball I had tossed toward him was caught and immediately hurled in an entirely different direction. I’d thought it was a harmless question for someone who liked books, but clearly, he didn’t see it that way. Or maybe my throw had simply been clumsy.
“My bad,” I said. “If the way I phrased it offended you, I apologize.”
Perhaps I’d overestimated myself, thinking I could keep the mood afloat easily.
“…No,” he said after a pause, “I should apologize for my rudeness. There's no need to look so dejected.”
“I was just trying to keep the conversation going, really.”
“I could sort of tell,” he replied.
“If you don’t want to talk to me, you don’t have to force it,”
“...Somehow, you really throw me off balance. It’s not that I dislike talking to you Ayanokoji-shi, but… opportunities for us to speak face-to-face like this are rare. Well, I suppose I started thinking about too many things. Until Shiina-shi returns… if you don’t mind, why don’t we talk a little?”
Seeing Kaneda take a more positive stance toward talking with me made me a little happy.
“If there’s something you’re curious about, feel free to ask,” I said. “Of course, I can’t answer without limit when it comes to class-related matters.”
I knew Kaneda understood the boundaries, but I made it clear anyway.
He took off his glasses, breathed gently over the lenses, and pulled a neatly folded cloth from his pocket. He polished each side with slow, deliberate strokes before sliding them back on.
“You and Shiina-shi— you seem to be close.” he said at last.
“Hm? Ah, we're book buddies, same as you. She's someone I can talk to.”
“Book buddies, is it? Perhaps so. But the expression I saw on her face earlier, when I looked from the entrance, was something I haven’t seen for the past month. I was honestly surprised. It had been so long since I’d seen her smile genuinely like that…”
“That might be my doing, I apologized to Hiyori earlier, and she forgave me. So maybe you’ll see that smile again, both in class and here in the library.”
I left out the part about being invited to transfer classes. Kaneda was from a rival class and had close ties to Ryuen. It wouldn't be pleasant to talk about it with Kaneda, also I had no way of knowing how that piece of information might be passed along once it left my mouth.
“Do you realize just how amazing that is?”
“Amazing?”
“You don’t realize? Or perhaps… are you just pretending not to? Tell me, Ayanokoji-shi— have you ever thought of yourself as fortunate?”
There was a probing edge to his tone, as though he were testing me.
“Fortunate? That’s a broad term— it’s not easy to answer.”
“My apologies, let me be clearer,” he said, adjusting his posture slightly. “Even from another man’s point of view, your appearance is exceptional. You’re taller than average, well-built without exuding needless intimidation, and you carry yourself with a certain cleanliness that draws people in. You used to date Karuizawa-shi, and now… there are even rumors linking you to Ichinose-shi. The more a man comes to know you, the more he can’t help but feel both admiration… and a sharp sting of envy at the gap between you and them.”
Kaneda’s words were unexpected, so much so that I found myself leaning in, curious despite myself.
“It’s not just your appearance, academically too, you’re now being spoken of as the top student in our entire year by those who themselves are considered high achievers. I used to take pride in thinking my abilities could match yours. Now, I feel ashamed of that. And then there’s your physical ability. Since April, in every P.E. class, you’ve been leaving behind outstanding results. For someone like me, who’s hopeless at sports, even if I stood on my head, I wouldn’t come anywhere near the potential you have.”
I hadn’t imagined Kaneda Satoru could speak with such eloquence and passion, or at such length. Even as he showered me with praise, he demeaned himself in equal measure.
Truth be told, his standing in the year was nothing to scoff at, he would easily place in the top thirty percent in overall capability. There was no need for him to put himself down like this. And yet, he pressed on, continuing to elevate me.
“And now, you’ve finally unveiled the strength you kept hidden for two years. You’ve taken the leader’s seat in Class C to rebuild it after Sakayanagi-shi’s departure. Even that dangerous edge to your thinking, no, perhaps especially that— must be drawing people in. You’re the very embodiment of a hero. I truly envy you.”
“Envy me? I’m just a traitor who abandoned Class A. And the fact that I’ve held back my strength all this time, objectively, that’s more likely to be judged as a vice than a virtue.”
“An anti-hero,” he replied with a faint, dry chuckle, “is still a hero.”
He glanced over his shoulder. Following his gaze, I spotted Hiyori at a computer, working alongside the librarian. She wouldn’t be back for a little while yet.
From his words and his manner, I realized something, Kaneda’s feelings toward me ran far deeper than I’d imagined. I had anticipated many reactions to my transfer, but his was among the strongest.
At first, I thought his remarks stemmed from loyalty to Ryuen, his class leader. But… that wasn’t it.
One thing, however, was certain— Kaneda didn’t like me.
“Ah… my apologies. It seems I’ve let myself talk too much.”
It appeared Kaneda, too, understood how his own words would be perceived by the other person.
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” I told him plainly “It’s up to each person how they choose to see someone else.”
“Even that part of you is so infuriatingly cool, Ayanokoji-shi. Even if you were prepared to be disliked, it shouldn't feel good to be actually disliked by someone. Or is it simply that you don't care about my opinion of you because it's just me?”
“That’s not it, no matter who I’m talking to, I’d answer the same way.”
The truth was simple enough: I’d always acted knowing that some people would dislike me. It was a given.
“—Even if that person were Shiina-shi?” Kaneda asked, his tone shifting ever so slightly.
He had chosen his example well. Of all the students in this school, she was certainly one of the most fitting to bring up.
I was ready to answer immediately, yet the words stalled in my throat.
I wouldn't mind if Hiyori disliked me.
Yes, when viewed from a fundamental level, that is correct.
It was with full knowledge of that future that I rejected Hiyori's invitation and transferred to Class C.
The reason I didn't go to apologize immediately was because I needed to prioritize other matters.
What she felt was a secondary or tertiary concern, placed low on my priority list.
“…Forget it,” Kaneda said quietly, before I could answer. “It seems I’ve asked something tactless.”
Without waiting for my reply, he pushed his chair back and stood up.
“I’ll head back for today.”
“You sure? Hiyori seemed like she wanted you to wait,” I pointed out.
“It’s fine. Whether I’m here or not makes no difference right now. I apologize for monopolizing the conversation earlier.”
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
“…I see. Then I appreciate your generosity.”
With a faint but unmistakable air of resolve, his footsteps faded into the hush of the library as he turned and left.
A short while later, Hiyori returned, her gaze flitting here and there as if searching for someone.
“Oh? You’re alone, Ayanokoji-kun?” she asked, tilting her head.
Apparently, Kaneda hadn't spoken to Hiyori on his way out, even though she was near the entrance.
“Yeah. He said he had an urgent matter and left. He asked me to tell you he'll be back again soon.”
“I see. That's something to look forward to.”
Seeing her gentle smile, it seemed she was genuinely looking forward to his next visit.
For some reason, I had convinced myself that she’d spent the past month entirely on her own.
But the truth was different, she had been slowly widening her circle, carving out time to spend with Kaneda here in the library.
When I thought about it, there was nothing strange about that. Just as I had changed classes, made new friends, and gradually increased the number of people I interacted with, so too had Hiyori been changing since the day we first met.
Somewhere, she had met new people along the way and drawn closer to them.
What began as mere classmates, or the casual connection between seniors and juniors, could deepen into friendship… and eventually into close companionship.
In the days to come, people far closer to her than I am would naturally appear in her life, one after another.
Perhaps even tomorrow, someone could be sitting in that empty seat beside her.
“...”
As she lowered her eyes to the book in her hands, I became aware of my own thoughts, and was faintly startled by them.
Who’s getting close to whom, that was supposed to be nothing more than a data point to me. A detail to be assessed only by its potential usefulness.
And yet, I was engaging in useless and selfish imaginings.
I was trying to picture an unseen someone, sitting there beside Hiyori.
I couldn’t explain it— why I could no longer see her the same way I saw other students.
Same sex, opposite sex. Friend, best friend.
Those labels had never dictated how I interacted with others. I spoke to many students, free from the constraints of gender or the degree of closeness.
Whether our interests aligned or not, whether we seemed likely to get along, those factors existed, but never fundamentally determined whether I would accept or avoid someone.
And yet… with this much static interfering with my thoughts, I could no longer deny it.
Hiyori didn’t quite fit into the framework I’d been using up until now.
This wasn’t like consciously moving someone from one category to another, as if by choice. It was more like something that had been on the right side until yesterday had somehow, without my realizing, slipped quietly over to the left.
Just being in the same space, reading and sharing books together, filled me with a sense of fulfillment.
If I were to describe it in words, it would be 'a feeling of happiness'.
That expression is likely the closest fit.
It's not that we've spent an especially long time together, nor have we exchanged many conversations in a short period.
But thinking back, I had naturally felt a sense of closeness to her from early on.
Her name, too— it's not like I started calling her Hiyori because she asked me to.
It wasn’t a calculated choice; it had simply happened, naturally.
Before I knew it, my gaze had been fixed on her face as she looked down at her book.
She didn’t notice for a while. Then, in a fleeting, unguarded moment, she looked up, and our eyes met without effort, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“Is something wrong?”
“...No,”
My heart feels calm when I look at Hiyori's face.
But saying something like that would only trouble her, without a doubt.
Sometime later, just past six in the evening Hiyori and I left the quiet sanctuary of the library and stepped out of the school gates.
“Is it okay if I stop by the library again tomorrow?” I asked as we walked.
“Of course it's okay. You don't need my permission in the first place, you know?”
Perhaps amused that I’d even think to ask, she covered her mouth and let out a soft chuckle.
“It might be because I think of the library as something like your home.”
“Well… I can’t exactly deny that. Unless I have other plans, I’m there every day.”
If she wasn’t here, I could almost believe she’d caught a cold.
That thought brought back the memory of a time when Hiyori had stopped showing up at the library for a while.
It was around the time that the news about Karuizawa and I dating had spread through the school. We were certainly just book buddies, yet she’d still been considerate enough to adjust her visits, quietly avoiding the times I might be there.
“Ah—”
Her soft exclamation pulled my eyes in the same direction as hers. A small handcart was trundling slowly toward the main gate, its wheels rattling against the pavement.
The cart bed was heaped with flowers in a riot of colors— bright reds, sunny yellows, pale pinks, and pure whites, so vivid they stood out against the fading evening light.
We stopped to watch it pass. But the middle-aged woman pulling the cart noticed us and, smiling, came to a halt right in front of us.
“They let me sell here today as a special occasion. Would you like to take a look?”
“Is that okay?” Hiyori asked.
“Of course,” the woman replied warmly.
Hiyori’s eyes narrowed with delight as she stepped closer to the cart. I joined her, looking down at the neatly arranged blossoms.
Keyaki Mall had no flower shop. If you wanted to give flowers for a birthday or celebration, you either had to buy artificial ones from the general store or ordered them online. Which was why seeing them like this, fresh and arranged in a handcart, felt quite refreshing.
Cut flowers like baby’s breath swayed gently in the breeze, next to potted hydrangeas heavy with bloom. A few carefully arranged planters rounded out the display.
“They’re beautiful…”
Hiyori, standing beside me, murmured softly toward the flowers, her eyes darting from one bloom to another. It was clear she was having trouble deciding, her delicate fingers hovering as if tracing invisible lines between each option.
I waited in silence, letting her thoughts run their course. After a while, she seemed to settle on something. Her hand reached out, fingers stopping just above a delicately wrapped bloom.
“May I have this one?”
It was a single poppy, crimson petals folded neatly around its dark center, and wrapped with care.
Translator’s Note: The flower mentioned here is 「ひなげし」 (hinageshi), known in English as the corn poppy. In Japanese flower language (hanakotoba), it can symbolize consolation, thoughtfulness, and most notably, a premonition of love.
“Just one?”
“Yes. I think it’s lovely precisely because it’s just one,” she replied with a small, certain smile.
“Flowers aren’t about numbers, young man,” the florist remarked with a warm smile, explaining that this was what they called an ippon-maki— a single-stem wrap.
“Then I’ll take one of these,” I said, pulling out my phone for payment.
“Ah— no, Ayanokoji-kun,” Hiyori protested, flustered. “I’ll buy it myself—”
“It’s fine, let me give it to you as a present.”
As she looked up at me, I added, “It’s an apology, for making you wait a month. Though… it’s hardly enough to make up for it.”
A single poppy. Less than 400 points. It was a purchase so cheap it could hardly be called a gift, yet her expression softened.
“Not at all,” she said, bowing her head. “I’m really happy.”
When she lifted her face again, I thought I saw a faint blush touch her cheeks.
Maybe it was the sudden wash of sunset, staining the sky in deep orange and red.
“…Then I’ll gladly accept,” she murmured, so softly I might have missed had I not been standing so close.
When the payment was done, the florist handed the flower to me instead of Hiyori, her eyes flicking between us before she offered a polite, “Thank you.”
We stood there, quietly watching the cart trundle away, the rattling of its wheels slowly fading until it vanished from sight.
Once the flower cart had rolled away, the street grew quiet again, it was just the two of us. I held out the single poppy I had been carrying, the scarlet petals trembling faintly in the evening breeze.
“Thank you so much.”
“No need for thanks. It’s just me indulging in a selfish excuse for an apology.”
That's what I said, but in reality, it was slightly different. I had simply wanted to give Hiyori a gift.
I just wanted to make her happy.
The urge had been sudden, an impulse, that had led me to hand her this poppy.
She cradled the small flower to her chest, fingers curled protectively around the stem, and looked straight at me. When our eyes first met, there was pure joy on her face, a warm, quiet smile.
But as we held each other’s gaze, that smile shifted, slowly, almost imperceptibly, into an expression I hadn't expected.
“Why are you crying?”
Hiyori, whose eyes were faintly glistening with tears, perhaps hadn't noticed it herself.
Her pale, delicate fingers brushed hastily at the corners, dabbing away the moisture.
“For me, until I met you, Ayanokoji-kun, today was supposed to be just an ordinary day. The fact that it has now become a time so filled with happiness and fulfillment that it feels unreal, like I might wake up at any moment…”
Her voice, squeezed out from her heart, trembled as it continued.
“I'm so glad… so, so glad. That we didn’t end up becoming distant, Ayanokoji-kun.”
Strangely enough, I shared the exact same feelings as Hiyori.
“I’m the same. This should’ve been just another day, but instead, it’s turned into something truly fulfilling.”
If there was no falsehood in Hiyori's words, it meant our feelings were mutual.
This synchronization, which should have been meaningless, felt strangely heartwarming and made me happy for some reason.
Under the crimson glow of the sunset, I burned her image deep into my memory: Hiyori holding the poppy close, her eyes shimmering in the fading light.
So that, no matter how much time passed, I could call it back whenever I wished───
Part 3
When I returned to the dorm lobby, the familiar sight of Hashimoto greeted me, slouched on the sofa, phone in hand.
The moment his eyes landed on me, he slipped the device into his pocket and rose to his feet.
“Sorry, Shiina, gotta borrow Ayanokoji.” he said casually, with a light tone but leaving no room for argument.
Hiyori didn’t seem the least bit bothered by his abruptness. She bowed politely, her lips curving into a gentle smile, and gave me a small wave before stepping into the elevator. The doors slid shut with a soft chime.
Hashimoto stood there with a beaming smile, waving back at her.
“We run into each other a lot,” I remarked. “Were you waiting for me?”
“Yeah, something like that,” he said, already turning toward the exit. “Let’s take a walk.”
Without giving me much of a choice, he steered me out of the lobby. We wandered down a quiet side path, far from the usual route between the dorms and school.
“You know, you’re awfully tolerant with Shiina. Actually, scratch that, you’re pretty close to her. That flower earlier… you gave it to her, didn’t you?”
I gave him a sideways glance. “What makes you think that?”
There hadn’t been anyone around when I handed Hiyori that poppy, Hashimoto couldn’t possibly have seen it.
“Don’t play dumb. There’s no mystery here. Just looking at how happy she was holding that flower, anyone could tell.”
Apparently, that's what Hashimoto felt upon seeing Hiyori and me together.
“You’ve been bringing up Shiina’s name a lot lately,” he continued. “Got me wondering about something. And today, I decided I’d get my answer, one way or another.”
Hashimoto took in a quiet breath, then locked eyes with me.
“I doubt anyone else would feel comfortable asking you this, so I’ll be the bad guy and get straight to the point,” he said. “Is Shiina someone… especially close to you?”
From his expression I could tell he was being completely serious.
“Is there a problem with me having someone I’m close to?”
“Not exactly a problem,” he admitted. But I can’t say I’d be all that thrilled about it either.”
Hashimoto said, somewhat evasively. When I looked at him, he averted his gaze, as if the words had left a sour taste.
“It’s not just me,” he went on. “I bet Ichinose wouldn’t like it much either. Word around Class D is that she likes you. And if that’s true, then she must’ve heard you broke up with Karuizawa and decided to throw her name into the ring as the next candidate. Ever since we sat in on that alliance talk together, I thought the way she looked at you was… different. Honestly, I figured it was only a matter of time before you two got together. Or… are you already dating her?”
“We're not dating.” I said simply.
That should have been the answer Hashimoto wanted, but instead of looking pleased, he frowned.
“…Why not? If it’s Ichinose, you couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend. Honestly, even I, someone who barely knows her, would say yes in a heartbeat if she confessed. She’s on that level, y’know. You’ve got no reason to refuse.”
“Hate to ruin your little fantasy, but she hasn’t confessed to me.”
“Even if she hasn’t, you could make the first move. If she likes you, just go for it without hesitation— ah, not in some weird way, I mean.”
He hastily clarified it, but the distinction was trivial.
“Ichinose and I are allies. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“So you’re drawing that line, keeping it at allies, even in the future?”
Before I could answer, he pressed on.
“Which means… you’re going after Shiina now, aren’t you?”
“I'm surprised. I didn't think you'd be so concerned with other people's love lives.”
“To be precise, I’m worried those feelings might affect the class’s chances of winning.”
It wasn’t about who I dated, but whether I might let personal feelings cloud my judgment.
That seemed to be what he was worried about.
A very Hashimoto-like way of thinking.
“Nah, I don't even need to hear your reply, I already know. You cut ties with Horikita and the others you spent two years with through thick and thin, and sided with us. I don't doubt that your actions would change just because you got attached to one or two women like Ichinose or Shiina.”
“For someone who believes that, you seem pretty invested in the topic. Especially when it comes to Hiyori.”
It was obvious, he was putting more weight on her than on Ichinose.
“From an outsider's perspective, it’s always looked like you give Shiina special treatment.”
Hashimoto wrapped it up saying it’d be great if it was just needless worry, but the truth was, I was already treating Hiyori in a way I couldn’t quite define.
That’s not to say I would ever let her presence affect the class’s performance. But on a personal level, I knew I didn’t want to treat her carelessly.
I see.
“So that's what it is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I might like Hiyori.”
“...Huh?”
“I can’t say for sure what this feeling is yet,” I said, searching for the right words. “But at the very least, it’s a feeling I don’t have for anyone else, or maybe one that’s just beginning to take shape.”
The cause of unease and errors in my own reasoning up to this point.
The reason it wasn't easy to find was because it was something outside my range of experience.
“H-hold on, you’re serious? And what’s with you talking like it’s your first time feeling something like that? You were dating Karuizawa not too long ago, weren’t you?”
If the emotion I’d just uncovered was truly taking root within me….
I couldn’t help but feel a quiet awe at the strength of emotions and the unpredictable timing with which they surfaced.
The urge to know more welled up, unbidden and insistent.
If I traced my steps back, would I find the exact moment?
Where did I first become conscious of Hiyori?
What made her different from the rest?
I wanted to dig deeper and deeper, until I hit the bedrock.
—No, Now wasn’t the time to indulge in such unnecessary fantasies.
To draw a conclusion now, as if merely laying out a strategy, would be far too wasteful.
Whatever the outcome, this emotion was an extremely fascinating experiment, far too intriguing to rush.
“Then… depending on how things go, are you planning to date Shiina?” Hashimoto asked suddenly.
“I thought you believed my actions wouldn’t change. So why are you so eager to pry into someone else’s love life?”
“Well, just this once... call it my ‘philosophy of love’, I guess. It's screaming at me that I absolutely have to confirm this.”
“Your philosophy of love, huh. Have you actually got the experience to back it up?”
I asked the question with Maezono, the one who had been expelled, in my mind.
“Hey, you're underestimating me a little, Ayanokoji.” he smirked. “I’m no Casanova, but between middle and high school I dated two… no, technically three girls.”
That hesitation before the third name made it obvious who he meant.
“So? Are you planning to date Shiina? If you can't answer, just say—”
“Dating or not depends on the other person,” I cut in. “It’s not something I can decide alone.”
“Hah, yeah, fair enough. But from the way you’re talking… if this is really your first time feeling something like that, then it’s your first love, isn’t it?”
“…Maybe.”
I had no material to deny it right now.
“No matter how many people you date, you only ever have one first love,” Hashimoto said flatly. “And almost never do you end up with that person. My own? A classmate from elementary school. Couldn’t even hold a decent conversation with her. Sure, when you frame it like that, it sounds romantic, maybe even special… but in truth, it’s nothing big. Especially for guys— we’re simple creatures. If she’s cute, we’re halfway in love already.”
I understood that well enough, whether the object of affection is male or female, most people are easily drawn to those with good looks. Even on TV or in magazines, the ones who catch the eye and get attention are overwhelmingly beautiful men and women.
“That’s why you should just toss your first love aside,” he went on. “If a pretty enough girl falls for you, it doesn’t matter if it’s your tenth or twentieth love, you can start fresh right there.”
Even with all his roundabout phrasing, Hashimoto’s stance remained consistent.
“First love or not, stay away from Shiina. That’s my strongest advice— as your strategist, your friend, and your comrade aiming for Class A.”
Hashimoto was clearly on high alert about my relationship with Hiyori developing in an unexpected way.
“It’s not complicated, right?” he pressed. “You could get back with Karuizawa. You could date Ichinose. Hell, go after any other girl you want. Just not Shiina.”
It was clear that Hashimoto was watching my reaction by intentionally repeating himself. If I agreed or disagreed excessively, he would take it as an ominous sign.
“I get your concern very well. But you're counting your chickens before they hatch.”
“—Can I trust you?”
“You probably won't believe me just because I say so. But yes, you can trust me.”
The truth was, Hiyori had already become someone indispensable to me.
Someone who stirred emotions I’d never felt before.
Whether this was the ‘first love’ Hashimoto spoke of, I couldn’t help but want to find that out.
I want to dive into this irresistible wave of emotion, to be consumed by it, just to see where it takes me.
I want to break myself and her down, piece by piece, and search for the answer wherever it lies.
I’ll remember his advice for what it is, but I have no intention of stopping.
Because by now, I’m more than ready to plunge in, no matter how deep it takes me—
Comments
Be the first one to comment